SPOOKS FOR SALE (Apr, 1951)

This is awesome, you can hire this guy to rig up your house and scare away unwanted house guests.

SPOOKS FOR SALE
ARE your mother-in-law’s visits too frequent and too long? Or has cousin George been troublesome? Then Robert Nelson of Columbus, Ohio, is the man to help you. He’ll sell you rattling skeletons, headless monsters, squirming ropes, all guaranteed to rid you of the unwelcome guests.

Nelson spreads his ghostly touch far and wide. He dispatches crystal balls to Swamis in Georgia, eerie voices to spiritualists in Seattle. Once he supplied a planter in the Bahamas with a spook that kept natives from stealing fruit. He doesn’t belittle old-fashioned ghosts, however. He says “It’s just that mine are more reliable.”