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HARLEY-DAVIDSON: Race with the Leaves! (Nov, 1931)

Race with the leaves? Are you serious? That’s the best slogan you could come up with? To me a race implies a competitive event, with a winner and a looser. You don’t know who’s going to win from the outset, that’s what makes it a RACE. So what they are saying in this ad is: Cruising along on your Harley with the throttle all the way open, driving as fast as you can; you may still be passed by a leaf. You know a leaf, falling from a tree. Or kicked up by a light breeze.

Why not just say: “Harley Davidson – It’s faster than walking.”*

(except for very fast walkers)

Update: I saw (via Boing Boing) that the current Worth 1000 Photoshop contest is titled “Bad Ads“. I think that this ad fits the contest better than some of the actual entries, but they are very funny nonetheless. If you haven’t checked out the Worth 1K contests you should, they can be hilarious.

Race with the Leaves!
BREEZE down an Autumn road, free as the red leaves that swirl along with you. Open up the eager motor of your Harley-Davidson — feel the thrill of its power, the surge of its silent speed. What a motorcycle!

Have you seen the 1932 models? They are better performers than ever — handsomer, more comfortable, better equipped—yet the prices are much lower.
Your dealer wants to show you these new Harley-Davidsons — and tell you about his Pay-As-You-Ride Plan. Why not look him up today?

Only $195 at Factory
Lowest-priced motorcycle ever offered by Harley-Davidson. A swift, sturdy Single, fully equipped—complete electrical system, 3-speed transmission, front and rear brakes, all conveniences. Easy to handle — costs almost nothing to run. Ask your Dealer.
Ride a HARLEY-DAVIDSON

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Woo-Wee Wolf Whistle Auto Horn (Mar, 1948)

Woo-Wee Wolf Whistle Auto Horn

Reproduces ‘Wolf Whistle’ better than any sailor. Screeches, barks, whistles, imitates siren moves any ‘road hog’ off the highway in “double quick plus” Attract more attention than by driving a yellow Cadillac. Operates from manifold. Intall-ed on any car in 15 minutes. Sturdily constructed Cleverest novelty since the use of the auto. Be the first user in your neighborhood. Dealers wanted. Absolute money back guarantee. 6 dollars each. Order today Ohio orders add 3% tax.
THE PROTECTUROD COMPANY -Dept 102 4033 Windsor Road • Youngstown 7, Ohio

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MAGIC MUSHROOM TRAYS (Mar, 1948)

I’m guessing that the term “Magic Mushroom” didn’t have the same connotation in 1948 that it has today…

Grow your own MUSHROOMS in your own HOME

MAGIC MUSHROOM TRAYS

Enjoy the thrill of picking fresh, delicious mushrooms at home. Keep your table supplied for months. The Magic Trays are completely developed with spawn. Simply place trays in basement, keep soil damp, mushrooms appear in two or three weeks. Each tray produces for two to four months. Simple instructions with each order. Magic Mushroom Trays are prepared by mushroom growers with years of experience, the same way as those used for commercial production. Trays are 14 x 18 inches. Shipping weight 25 lbs. Orders accepted all states — except West Coast a»d deep South. Mail order now. Enclose check or money order. 4 for $5.00— lO for $10. Trays sent Motor Express or Railway Express.
HORLOCHER MUSHROOM FARMS
ASHTABULA, OHIO

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Don’t Walk… “Aero-Hop” (Mar, 1948)

Don’t Walk… “Aero-Hop”
For Fun! For Health! For Skill!
Hollywood’s Newest, Fun & Sport Sensation!
The Jumpingest, Bouncingest, Flyingest Little Machine since the Aero-Plane. Different from any other Jumping Stick. Really has performance: Broad Jump up to 11 feet .. . High Jump over 3 feet, Aero-Hop Rope, etc., etc.

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Play Guitar The Hawaiian Way (Feb, 1940)

Just what I’ve been looking for. A way to play without any of that tedious practice stuff. And who would have guessed the Oahu School of Music would be located in Cleveland?

HOW TO PLAY THE HAWAIIAN WAY
HAWAIIAN GUITAR- Learn to play this EASY. SHORT CUT WAY, right in your own home. No tedious practicing. No special talent necessary. Have fun. Be popular. Surprise your friends. Get “on the air.” Make money teaching others. Hundreds of our students now successful in orchestras teaching, radio. You can do the same.
FREE ILLUSTRATED BOOKLET
“How to play the Hawaiian way” tells all about this quick,
fascinating method. Write today. OAHU SCHOOL OF MUSIC, 2114 Payne Ave., Cleveland, Ohio

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TOMBSTONES DIRECT TO YOU $9.95 (Mar, 1945)

TOMBSTONES DIRECT TO YOU $9.95 up
Genuine beautiful ROCKDALE Monuments, Markers. Satisfaction or money back.
Freight paid.Free catalog. Compare our prices.
Rockdale Monument Co.,Dept. 501 Joliet, Ill.

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SURE ROUTE TO HAPPY-LAND (Nov, 1939)

SURE ROUTE TO HAPPY-LAND

MAIL TODAY SURE
J.C. DEAGAN, Inc., Dept. 3658
1770 Berteau, Chicago
Without cost of obligation, tell me about the easy-to-play DEAGAN MARIMBA… its sensational rise in the music world… the opportunities for radio, stage and dance-band fame.

EASY TO PLAY

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Nimrod Pipeliter (Nov, 1947)

THE RIGHT GIFT for a PIPE SMOKER
* Windproof * Lightweight * Large Flame
Nimrod Pipeliter
Down-Draft Chimney Action
$3.50 At your Dealers
Unconditionally Guaranteed

If your dealer is unable to supply you send $3.50 direct
WARD-NIMROD COMPANY
Dipt. 36-G, 2961 Jessamine St., Cinti. IS, Ohio

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Astrology – Will You Be Lucky in 1932? (Jan, 1932)

Astrology – Will You Be Lucky in 1932?
What do the stars foretell for 1932? Would you like to know? Our special 12-page Astrological Reading gives predictions, month hy month—with exact days, dates and happenings for 1932 based on your sign of the Zodiac. Consult it before making any change in home or business affairs, signing papers, love, marriage, seeking employment, raises in salary, speculation, travel, friends, enemies, health, accidents, lucky rlavs etc. Send exact birthday with $1.00 for reading. Franklin Pub. Co., 800 N.Clark St., Dept.3671. Chicago

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Play Guitar Like the Cowboys Do… (Sep, 1944)

Play Guitar Like the Cowboys Do…
Only 8-1/3 Cents a Lesson

Just out—very latest guaranteed, simple, easy method. Play cowboy songs the Western way in a few minutes by ear. Surprise and amaze your friends. Be in big demand at parties, camps, public entertainments, on the radio, etc. 12 Complete Lessons.
SEND NO MONEY.
Pay postman only $1.00 plus postage and C.O.D charges, or send $1.00 and get EXTRA SONGS all postpaid. (Canada, $1.25 money order only.) Nothing else to buy.
Positive money back guarantee. Rush order today.
WESTERN RANGER STUDIOS, Dept. 259, Hutchinson, Kans.

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