I’M VERY DEAF BUT I HEAR Everything (Mar, 1950)
Yes, and I’m very blind, but I can see everything.
I’M VERY DEAF BUT I HEAR
Everything with My New
Zenith “MINIATURE” HEARING AID
Don’t let deafness kill the joys of living. Let a Zenith home trial prove you, too, can even hear a whisper. Here’s Zenith’s amazing guaranteeâ€”if any $200.00 hearing aid outperforms Zenith’s newest, tiny, 6.75 oz. single-unit “Miniature” Ra-dionic Hearing Aid in efficiency or economy, your money backâ€”under our 10-Day Return Privilege. Only $75.00 complete, ready to wear. For authorized Zenith Hearing Aid Dealer in your locality, consult your classified telephone book; or write us for complete coast-to-coast dealer list. Free descriptive literature on request. Addressâ€”
Zenith Radio Corporation, Hearing Aid Division Dept. 391, 5801 W. Dickens Ave., Chicago 39, III.
Makers of World Famous Zenith Radio, FM and Television Sets
IT’S GREAT TO BE REGULAR (Mar, 1950)
Wow, those people really like laxatives, look at how happy they are!
IT’S GREAT TO BE REGULAR
ALL-Vegetable Makes the Difference
Thousands of modern men and women in all parts of America have turned to Nature’s Remedy, NR Tablets for dependable, yet gentle relief, when a laxative is needed. They know that the all-vegetable idea is so right. They find an NR at night produces thorough morning regularity with no perturbing effects. It’s so kind to the svstem.
Try NR at our expense. 25 tablets only 25c. Buy a box at any drug store. Try them. If not completely satisfied, return box with unused tablets to us. We will refund your money plus postage.
Drop Dead Cigarette Box (Jan, 1965)
From the department of unintentional irony:
A GIFT OF PERFECTION
For the man who is dying for a cigarette, this 3-3/4″ x 1″ x 1-1/2″ completely metal, copper color coffin is a true replica of the real thing… Bewareâ€”your friends will fall in love with it. So-O-O buy several for gifts.
No others like it! Send $2.00 for each prepaid DROP DEAD COFFIN to
Andrea Specialties, Dept. S.M., 2700 Point Breeze Drive, Wilmington, Delaware 18903.
Meta-Branding 2 (Jan, 1955)
Another lesson in how to be a consumer. Oh, and remember “Man, you’re the boss.”!
SURE THEY’RE GOOD!
Products with brand names that you call for again and again are literally just what you order, because you yourself are constantly dictating their quality standards.
Your approval is the measuring stick that manufacturers go by. You decree how a seam will be sewn, an edge ground, a design balanced. You say if a flavor will be sharpened, a fragrance tempered, an angle softened, a color heightened. Products stand or fall on your acceptance … so their makers keep quality up, UP to the point that keeps you buying.
Man, you’re the boss. And lady, you couldn’t be closer to quality control if you sat in the manufacturers’ collective lap.
Guide to good buying: the ads in this magazine.
BRAND NAMES FOUNDATION INCORPORATED
A NON-PROFIT EDUCATIONAL FOUNDATION
37 WEST 57 STREET, NEW YORK 19, N. Y.
WANT QUALITY? PATRONIZE THE DEALER WHO PROVIDES YOUR FAVORITE BRANDS
Don’t Envy The PLUMBER – Be One! (Mar, 1950)
Just the other day as a plumber was cleaning all of the delightful muck out of my clogged sewage line, I thought “Gee, I envy that guy!”
This ad is also incredibly repetitive and has ellipsis (…) in the oddest places.
Don’t Envy The PLUMBER – Be One!
Make $15 to $50 a Day
(and work every day)
Every skilled workman will tell you Plumbers have the best of it. WINTER and SUMMER the Plumber is busy at top wages. No skilled Plumber is ever out of a job . . . compare his opportunities with any trade, and decide where your opportunity is.
Plumbing, to the man with know how, means profit. Investigate Universal’s unique “Shop Method” system . . . This system, developed over a quarter century ago by a master plumber, offers you the opportunity to quickly get into the plumbing business. This is not a “war born school” . . . but a plumbing school developed and operated by plumbers since 1923.
Pinching Your way to Success (Apr, 1958)
Apparently when a man decides to do something about his future, he starts by pinching his nipples.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MAN DECIDES TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIS FUTURE!
The proven rule of “learn more to earn more” took M.E.F. (name on request) from a position of truck driver to that of an accounting executive in sixteen months. Listen to what M.E.F. says:
BARRED â€” because he couldn’t entertain (Mar, 1933)
Apparently in the 1930′s failure to play an instrument was a punishable offence.
BARRED â€” because he couldn’t entertain
ARE you, too, ruled out, barred from parties and popularity? You are probably just as attractive, interesting, clever as any one else. Yet others always capture all the good times while you alone are left out in the cold.
Why? Find out why and the bars that shut you out will fade away and disappear. Most people who miss popularity are themselves to blame. Friends would invite you out if only you had something to add to the general gaiety. For that is why we have parties … to entertain each other.