Yes, that Arthur Murray.
I love the part where he explains that the reason people practice “petting” and “necking” is because they don’t know how to dance.

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Try Dancing for that Inferiority Complex

The Author’s Own Experience and that of Others in Finding a Big Truth about Personality

By Arthur Murray

YESTERDAY a well-dressed gentleman of about forty stepped timidly out of the elevator into my reception room, caught sight of the attractive young lady behind the desk, hesitated, rolled his eyes around the room helplessly and then just in time ducked back into the elevator, never to be seen again.

Was it funny? No, it was pitiful. I was not surprised because I have seen the same thing happen dozens of times, and I understand it perfectly.

“You have no idea how close I came to being a pupil of yours two years ago,” said a professional man in the course of business recently.

“Just how close did you come?” I asked.

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Plastic Furs
MAKING mink and other precious furs
from sheepskin is the latest miracle to come out of the chemist’s laboratory. Fabulous furs, hitherto within the reach of only the wealthiest women, will come clown in price to the point (about $160) at which almost every woman can satisfy her yearning for a luxurious coat.

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Green Replaces Red in Make-up for Television

Green lipstick and rouge replace the customary red in make-up designed for actresses appearing in television broadcasts. The television camera, it is explained, does not record the red coloring in the human complexion, leaving the transmitted image flat and unnatural. When green is substituted, however, the lips and cheeks of a performer appear in accurate relation of tones with other facial features as the image is projected on the screen of the receiver.

I’m not exactly sure how that works, but it doesn’t look painless to me.

THE SABO PAINLESS HAIR REMOVER
An instrument that removes superfluous hair painlessly and satisfactorily. No drugs. No chemicals. Not a needle. Entirely automatic. $3.00 brings it parcel post with money back guarantee. Descriptive literature free. THE EDAM MFG. CO., 3123 Scrant on Road, Cleveland, O.

What does this guy have against rats, and how does he know jelly fish share his opinion? I have arms and a backbone, yet I have no desire to slap a rat in the face. Also, why wouldn’t the jelly fish just sting the rat. Many of them are poisonous.

Later in the ad Mr. Ratslapper promises that “Your lungs will start pumping real oxygen into your blood”. To me this should be the headline. I mean, where did this fake oxygen come from? Is it a conspiratorial plot by the dioxy industrial complex? Should we be scared?

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If a Jelly Fish Could Slap a Rat in the Face

he would do it. But he can’t. He has no arms. Neither does he have a backbone. How much worse off is a man who was given a good backbone and a pair of arms— and won’t use them.

No Excuse

We excuse the jelly fish. He never had anything to work on. But there is no excuse for a flabby, round-shouldered and flat-chested specimen of a man. You were given a perfect framework for a body. You were meant to rule the world, but there is hardly an animal alive which does not show better sense than you do.

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NOTCHED WEDDING RING WORN TO DENOTE DIVORCE
Many women in England, who have been divorced from their husbands, continue to wear the wedding ring, but have a fracture cut in it by a jeweler, as an indication of that fact. Those who have parted from more than one husband have notches to indicate the number made in the edge of the gold band, it is said.

Air-Line Hostesses Learn Low-Down on Make-up
Flying is not all a matter of machinery and weather reports, as would-be hostesses for transcontinental airliners learn in their specialized training schools. Even lessons in “flight make-up” are a part of their varied curriculum, and one of them is shown above getting instructions from an expert on how to apply a few deft touches to obtain a well-groomed effect.

Yuck.

Use of Electric Shaver Sold by Slot Machine
FOR men who want a quick shave away from home, a novel coin-operated machine recently introduced provides an electric shaver and a well-lighted mirror. When a coin is dropped into a slot in the machine, the current for the shaver is turned on. When not in use, the electric razor is placed in a receptacle where it is thoroughly sterilized for the next customer by rays from a built-in ultra-violet lamp. The machine is intended for installation in office buildings, bus and train terminals, and other public places.

I’ll forgo the Hellraiser jokes and just say ouch.

MACHINE MEASURES BEAUTY OF FACE
Even beauty may now be reduced to cold, hard figures, according to the inventors of a device that is said to record the contours of a face with thousandth-of-an-inch accuracy. Beauty shops might use the device, the inventors say, to learn how to change their customers’ features. In the inventors’ opinion, the following measurements are ideal: nose, same length as the height of forehead; eyes, separated by a space the width of one eye.

Cream Replaces Silk Stockings
Liquid cream that dries to resemble silk stockings is a new cosmetic said to be a boon to the outdoor girl. When applied to the legs, as shown below, the inventors claim that it is practically impossible to distinguish it from real silk hose.

Paper Hat Parasol for Men Serves as Shield from Sun or Rain

Protection from sun or rain is provided by a paper parasol that slips over the top of men’s hats and is held by a rubber band or piece of elastic. The flaps that hang over the brim can be folded in nine different ways, thus shielding the wearer at any desired angle while the exposed portions of the shade may be printed with advertisements. Special styles are manufactured also in thin sheet rubber with rigid side strips, while those made from ordinary paper or with cheesecloth backing have been found serviceable even in heavy rains. When not in use, the parasol can be folded up and placed in the pocket.

Eyeshades Serve as Extra Lashes to Shield against Sand and Sun

Fitting snugly into the eye sockets and just over the lids, light celluloid eyeshades of novel design have been placed on the market. Less cumbersome than the larger kinds, they are said to afford ample protection against bright sunshine on the beach and elsewhere, and also from dust and sand. They are manufactured in a variety of colors and do not interfere with the vision.