Archive
Scary
Waste of Slaves (Nov, 1947)

Poor King Khufu. If only he had an internal combustion engine he wouldn’t have had to waste 300,000 perfectly good slaves building an eternal monument to diefy himself. He could have used engines AND the lives of 300,000 slaves to build a REALLY big pyramid.

KHUFU might have saved a LIFETIME

KING KHUFU had only slave-power with which to build the greatest of the pyramids. With engine-power, he might have saved a lifetime and the lives of
300,000 slaves.

Today, mightier and much more useful structures spring from dream to drawing board to reality in relatively short spans of time. Modern construction equip-ment powered by internal-combustion engines makes this possible. For today, the machine is the slave of man. Great dams, soaring bridges, towering buildings and broad highways are ours without backbreaking toil and wasted flesh and blood.

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An Inconvenient Ad (Nov, 1946)

It’s been quite a while since a company would use an image of factories spewing carbon dust into the atmosphere in a positive context for one of their ads.

Of course at the CEI they just call it life.

These furnaces are a long way from a tire maker’s plant, yet they are an important part of the rubber industry. They’re at Ville Platte, Louisiana, and they are making carbon black to add toughness and mileage to the nation’s truck and automobile tires.

But Ville Platte’s carbon black represents only a part of Cabot production. From the pine timber country of Florida, to the alfalfa fields of the Rio Grande valley and the natural gas fields of Texas, Oklahoma and West Virginia, Cabot Companies are at work providing essential raw materials for American industry.

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Baby Bounces Through Window in “Safety” Chair (Apr, 1935)

This seems like a REALLY bad idea. Put your baby on the end of a spring, right in front of the windshield… bright.

Baby Bounces in Safety Chair

A SAFETY chair which combines the enjoyment of a spring ride for the baby with assurance to the mother that he will not get hurt provides a solution to the problem of baby tending for the busy housewife.

The chair is built high to support the baby’s back and is set on a strong steel spring leaf fastened to a slot in the floor. The baby’s legs straddle a hobby-horse head which prevent him from falling out of the front. Stirrups provide a natural rest for the child’s feet.

The spring of the safety chair may also be slipped into a slot in the auto floor, and it will eliminate all heavy shocks to provide baby with a smooth, comfortable ride in spite of rough and rutty roads.

Related:
Auto Seat Gives Infant Comfort – AKA “Kiddie Catapult”

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Gas Mask Designed for Typists (May, 1935)

I, for one, sleep soundly at night knowing that should we be attacked with chemical weapons, our brave typists will still be able to do their duty to their country.

Gas Mask Designed for Typists
ANEW type of gas mask, which slips over the head of an office typist in the event of an air attack, has just been developed in Rome, Italy. The face of the mask is transparent so that the typist can see what she is doing.

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Test Lip-Stick On Guinea Pig (Apr, 1939)

And PETA was born.

Test Lip-Stick On Guinea Pig
IN THE photo below, Max Factor, Hollywood make-up specialist (left) and Dr. J. R. Pratt, chemist, are testing a new lipstick on a shaven guinea pig (circle). A baby guinea pig is used for the test because its under skin is ten times more sensitive than that of a human being.

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Scientist to Make Bold Attempt to Revive Human Dead (Feb, 1935)

This is scary. I love how the fact that no one will give him dead bodies to resurrect is referred to as his “predicament”.

Scientist to Make Bold Attempt to Revive Human Dead

DR. ROBERT E. CORNISH, young California scientist who astounded the nation by bringing the dead dog, Lazarus, back to life, is now preparing to repeat his experiment using human subjects.

He has petitioned the governors of the three states, Colorado, Arizona and Nevada to furnish him with the bodies of criminals after they are pronounced dead in the lethal gas chambers — but his petitions have been rejected on various grounds.

Hearing of his predicament, approximately fifty people, interested both in science and possible remuneration, have offered themselves as subjects. According to Dr. Cornish, most of those offering themselves for “clinical” death are single men. One man from Kansas, in offering himself as a subject stated he considered $300,000 a fair price for the risk involved.

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YOUR FINGERPRINTS (Apr, 1934)

This is rather big-brotherish.

YOUR FINGERPRINTS

A Guest Editorial
AMERICA can have widespread fingerprint identification only through education concerning its benefits. Here is an agency which can be looked upon by the average citizen as proof of identity and of good standing in a community. It must be looked upon as his protector in case of accident, amnesia, loss of identity or death, through circumstances which make his identification under ordinary means impossible.

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Trapped Rat Shoots Self and Photographs the Fatal Event (Jan, 1935)

This just seems really sadistic to me. Why would you want this picture?

Trapped Rat Shoots Self and Photographs the Fatal Event
TRAPPED in an ingenious contrivance built by George W. Fenner, Syracuse photographer, a hungry rat shot himself and left a picture of the event in a camera trained upon the device.

A piece of bait was suspended from a wire at one end of the trap. Nibbling eagerly at the bait, the rat released a catch which dropped a spring-operated hammer, tripping the trigger of a revolver mounted at the opposite end of the trap.
The shot not only killed the rat but also cut a piece of string connected with still another spring. The latter set off a flashlight, supplying the illumination necessary to take the picture. In addition to the camera and lethal apparatus, a watch hung near the gun recorded the time of shooting.

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Electronic Leash Shocks Sense Into Fido (Aug, 1960)

Electronic Leash Shocks Sense Into Fido
AN electronic device, called Electro-Leash, can literally shock sense into your pooch —shaping him into a show dog or simply teaching him to behave around the house.

The obedience trainer consists of a palm-sized, transistorized pulse generator, 50 feet of wire which also serves as the leash and a dog collar with two tiny electrodes.

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“Beauty Micrometer” Analyzes Facial Flaws for Makeup (Jan, 1935)

Now we know where they got the idea for Hellraiser from.

“Beauty Micrometer” Analyzes Facial Flaws for Makeup
RECENTLY perfected by Max Factor, one of Hollywood’s most famous beauty experts, a new instrument, designed to aid makeup men, accurately registers actors’ facial measurements and discloses which features should be reduced or enhanced in the makeup process.

Flaws almost invisible to the ordinary eye become glaring distortions when thrown upon the screen in highly magnified images; but Factor’s “beauty micrometer” reveals the defects.

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