Hips, Hips, Away! (Jan, 1937)

“After you’ve given each spot the once over, place a heavy turkish towel over the spot and slap the flesh good and hard. Don’t be afraid to put a little determination into those slaps, either. About six good ones are enough”

Very few exercise instructions tell you to repeatedly slap your ass these days.

<< Previous
1 of 2
<< Previous
1 of 2

Hips, Hips, Away!


FASHION, like history, often repeats itself. Lately that mysterious group has been at it again. This time trying to sell American women the idea of bustles, peplums, flares, circular and barrel skirts.

Fashion hasn’t got a chance with such goings-on. They tried once before, and not long ago, to stimulate interest in the hour-glass figure with spacious bosoms and billowy hips, but it was not a success. If your hips are already large, such fandangles as mentioned above will only attract attention to them and make them appear larger. And who wants that?

There is entirely too much sitting going on these days. Consequently, too much spreading. Sitting at work all day makes it doubly hard for you office workers to get rid of that excess fat and proportion the hips into graceful lines. There is some excuse for you, of course, but knowing your job requires so much sitting, for goodness sake stay on your feet as much as possible at other times. You must. Every night and morning, walk at least a mile before you take the bus or subway. Not for the actual pounds you think it will take off the hips, but for the circulation that you will stimulate, which indirectly will aid in burning up the fat deposits. Walk on level ground—and make it breezy! Climbing stairs or steep hills will not only develop your legs and thighs, but can at times prove too much of a strain on a weak heart. Make it a point to go dancing at least twice a week. Above all move around after meals. Let your skinny sister relax on the over-stuffed—she needs it.

There are three spots on the hips upon which unwanted fat attaches itself. Those two globs on either side, just above the hip bone and slightly to the rear. I call them oyster pads. Remember I spoke about them last month, as being ruinous to an otherwise good-looking back. Then the rear itself. That part of your anatomy upon which God intended that you sit. Let me tell you, while I’m at it, to sit on it and not on a spot halfway between the end of your spinal column and the back of your neck. Poor posture will throw the hips out of line. It is bad enough if you’ve let excess fat accumulate on only one of these spots, but if you’ve been lazy, and put off your job of tailoring your figure, you’ve probably spread in all directions in all three spots. And it is pretty terrible! If you have, then you had better start in to do something about it as soon as you finish reading this. Do the exercises I’m giving you here. They’ll work like magic.

Here’s the first one. To reduce the rear of the hips— buttocks. Sit on the floor, back straight and legs straight out in front. To get the proper results, your back must be perfectly straight and knees stiff at all times. Place your hands on the floor down by your sides. Now lean back. As you do so, raise your legs from the floor. Keep them together. The angle between your body and legs remains the same, because you have raised your legs just as far as you have leaned backward with your body; your weight is now entirely on the rear of the hips, or buttocks. Use the hands only to balance the body. There must be no weight on them. With your feet in the air, throw the legs over to the left. As you do so, roll over on the left hip. Simultaneously swing your right hip forward and off the floor. Now on the other side. Swing the legs over to the right side, weight on right hip. Left hip forward and off the floor. Repeat this first on one side and then the other. But don’t stop in between. Make it a progressive exercise as you walk across the floor in a sitting position. You are actually walking on your buttocks. And how that will smash off the fat! Do this exercise every day along with the other one I am about to give you and you won’t recognize those hips in a few weeks.

Now here is a little trick for getting rid of stubborn bumps and those oyster pads I mentioned. Take a big handful of flesh on that bulge on the hip. Use the heel of the hand to squeeze the flesh against the fingertips. I don’t mean to pinch yourself and bruise the skin. That’s wrong. Don’t use the thumb at all. You can use one hand at a time, or both. With each grasp, roll the flesh outward, away from you. Let the flesh ooze through your hand. Take a new hold and go over every spot that needs it. After you’ve given each spot the once over, place a heavy turkish towel over the spot and slap the flesh good and hard. Don’t be afraid to put a little determination into those slaps, either. About six good ones are enough. This treatment will also firm up flabby flesh.

To flatten out those bulges on the sides of the hips: Stand with feet apart. About six inches. Toes turned slightly inward. Raise the arms above the head. Bend the right arm at the elbow so that the back of the right hand is in front of your face. Now slowly bend the body to the left. Keep the left arm outstretched. And the knees stiff. Bend until the fingertips of the left hand touch the floor at the left heel. Feel those muscles pulling on the right side? I’ll bet you do. You must feel it if you want to get the benefit out of the exercise. Now repeat on the right side. Do it at least five times on each side. You may feel a little sore at first, but never mind, it will disappear. And don’t fuss about it—it’s good for you. It only proves how badly you need to work the knots and kinks out of your body.

Poses by Marlyn Stuart.
Photos by Macfadden Studio.

  1. Rick Auricchio says: August 17, 20128:53 am

    The biggest benefit of this technique may be the exercise you get while flailing your arms, trying to slap your own ass hard.

  2. Charlene says: August 17, 201210:44 am

    There was once a common belief that fat deposits disappeared faster if you “broke them up” by hitting them, vibrating them, etc. (Remember those old “passive exercise” belly-band vibration machines?)

  3. Toronto says: August 17, 20121:02 pm

    I’ve always believed that vibrobelt machines and steam cabinets with head holes were products of “Howard, Fine, and Howard.”

  4. Charlene says: August 20, 201212:36 pm

    I used to think they were fake, too, until I found ads for them in vintage Eaton’s catalogues. Eaton’s wouldn’t lie to me.

  5. Toronto says: August 20, 20125:48 pm

    Charlene: Or sell you the wrong ‘ockey sweater.

    (Roch Carrier was once my french teacher! We read “Asterix” together.)

Submit comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.