Poker-face Polly (Feb, 1937)

Lady Gaga’s grandmother was a parrot. This explains so much.

Poker-face Polly

LOOK! YOU’RE EVEN GIVING POLLY NERVES. IF YOU’D ONLY LISTEN TO ME ABOUT COFFEE!

NONE OF YOUR CAFFEINE-FREE COFFEE FOR ME. I KNOW WHAT I LIKE!

YOU AND I ARE GOING TO FIX THOSE NERVES POLLY. WE’LL GIVE HIM KAFFEE-HAG COFFEE TONIGHT- BUT KEEP IT QUIET

NEXT WEEK

YOU LOOK SO PEACEFUL, I BELIEVE I DARE BREAK THE NEWS. THAT’S KAFFEE-HAG COFFEE YOU’RE DRINKING.

IT IS? WELL, IT’S THE BEST DARN COFFEE WE EVER TASTED, ISN’T IT POLLY?

POLLY KEEP A SECRET!

DRINK IT TO YOUR NERVES’ CONTENT!

If your heart warms to a glorious cup of coffee — but your nerves say “No!” —then here are a few words you’ll like. Kaffee-Hag is more than real coffee. It’s the finest coffee that money can buy. It has everything any fine coffee has—except the jitters. For the nerve-lashing caffeine — 97% of it — has been so painlessly removed that not an atom of flavour is lost. Make Kaffee-Hag strong. Extra brewing brings out its finest aroma.

Kellogg’s KAFFEE-HAG COFFEE

10 comments
  1. xritl says: March 28, 201010:17 pm

    Kaffee-Hag? Seriously? Sounds like an insult for a waitress: “Hey, Kaffee-Hag, another cup of joe down here.”

  2. Johnny Q says: March 29, 20107:42 am

    “Well,” I thought, “maybe it means something nice in another language.” Fire up Google Translate, put it in, select “Detect Language” and I get… “German: Coffee Hag.” Well, dang.

  3. Rick Auricchio says: March 29, 20109:22 am

    And when he falls asleep, we’ll put a pair of Trim-Jeans on him and wrap his car in straw.

  4. Firebrand38 says: March 29, 20109:26 am
  5. KD5ZS says: March 29, 201010:18 am

    Sanka sounds definitely nicer than Koffee-Hag. Of course the German language is not exactly a pretty sounding language.

    Perhaps getting rid of that parrot would also help his nerves!

  6. Charlene says: March 29, 20101:45 pm

    I think they were trying to make it sound Scandinavian, sort of like Haagen-Dazs, but they didn’t realize what “hag” meant to the younger generation.

    PS the cover! “Sex-crazing drug menace!” “When marriage is sin!” Man, you gotta love Physical Culture.

  7. Firebrand38 says: March 29, 20102:58 pm

    Charlene: I don’t think so. The link I provided on the history has the brand (and name) originating in Germany and I think that we can safely assume Germans understand German.

    Also your theory doesn’t account for this http://www.enjoybetterc…

  8. Firebrand38 says: March 29, 20103:02 pm

    Times up! It’s not Hag as in “That old hag”. It’s a reflection of the German love of acronyms. HAG is short for Handelsgesellschaft Aktiengesellschaft

  9. Scott B. says: March 30, 20106:46 am

    Whatever its origin, hag was in common usage as meaning an ugly old woman (eg. Popeye villain “Sea Hag”) long before this product premiered. What a marketing nightmare. Pity the poor ad agency Kellogg’s saddled with this campaign.

  10. Firebrand38 says: March 30, 201011:18 am

    Scott B.: Poor example. Kaffee-HAG was founded in 1906 but the Thimble Theater Sea Hag didn’t appear until 1929. But yeah, I get your point.

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