Brain Meter Tests Lawmaker’s Intellect (Jun, 1934)

Brain Meter Tests Lawmaker’s Intellect

Your Congressman’s Brain

Based on partial survey of 89 senators and congressmen.

SENATORS’ brain weights averaged 52 oz., congressmen, 50 oz. The greatest brain weight, 55 oz., was shown in members from Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana and Oklahoma.

The next highest brain weight, 53 oz., was found in members from Minnesota, Iowa, North Dakota, Nebraska and Kansas.

The lowest weight, 49 oz., was registered by members from California, Oregon and Washington.

PIONEERING in a new field of medical science, Dr. Arthur MacDonald, a prominent scientist of Washington, D. C, has perfected a new machine which weighs the brain in a living person—hitherto an impossible feat.

Recently Dr. MacDonald made a partial survey of the brain weights and body measurements of our national lawmakers as the first step in an experiment expected to lead to a study of the mental and physical equipment of legislative bodies throughout the world. Eighteen senators and seventy-one congressmen showed an average brain weight of 52 and 50 ounces respectively. The greatest brain weight—55 ounces—was shown by members from Arkansas, Louisiana, Oklahoma and Texas, who likewise possessed the greatest stature—70 inches— and the greatest head length—8 inches.

Legislators from California, Washington and Oregon registered the lowest average brain weight—49 ounces—and the smallest head length; yet, oddly enough, showed the strongest hand clasp, with an average of 203 pounds. Conversely, members from Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama and Mississippi, although possessed of the greatest average body weight, scored lowest in the hand grasp test with grips of from 80 to 91 pounds. Lawmakers from Minnesota, Iowa, North Dakota, Missouri, Kansas and Nebraska revealed brain weights of 53 ounces and an average stature barely below 70 inches.

Aside from the novelty of these tests, groundwork is being laid for insuring an increase in the length of life of our national leaders. Comparative studies of these men who come from various sections of the country likewise offer an opportunity for scientists to establish data on the general physical and mental status of the nation.

5 comments
  1. Stannous says: February 24, 20087:26 am

    Can I help extract the brains of the present Congress for a scientific study?
    I’ll bring my own saw.

  2. Bob says: February 24, 20087:50 am

    Stannous, the saw would leave a scar, can’t have that. Let’s use one of those brain sucking devices they use for abortions. That way a simple bandage and they could go right back to work and no one would know what had happened.

  3. Neil Russell says: February 25, 20086:59 am

    The caption for one picture refers to “fossilized” brains, maybe Congress got confused and thought that was a requirement for service

  4. Firebrand38 says: February 25, 20087:32 pm

    This MacDonald guy was a kook. Some of the books that he wrote are available to read or download here http://books.google.com… and http://books.google.com…

    weird stuff….

  5. Arglebarglefarglegleep says: August 19, 201012:43 am

    I think the big brain = smarter crowd were severely disappointed by Einstein’s brain [which has a weird story of it's own] when it came out weighing less than the average brain.

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