14 Smoking Accessories that Nobody Should Own
Double-Barrel Cigarette Holder
First up, we have this double-barrel cigarette holder. Makes perfect sense, right? You’ve got two lungs, gotta have two cigarettes. Of course if you used this I don’t think you’d have two lungs for very long…
Whole Cigarette Factory Contained in Single Tobacco Can
I’m not entirely sure that’s tobacco he’s rolling up there.
Remote Smoking Apparatus
This one is actually kind of neat, but it’d probably be better for smoking something else…
Ash Tray Fits Cigarette
Dude, just get an ashtray. Or don’t. It seems like you’d end up grabbing the end of the cigarette and the weight of this thing would break your cigarette in half.
Invalid “Fed” Cigarettes on a Stick
Thank god someone has solved the age old problem of how to smoke in a hospital bed when both of your arms are broken! And people say nicotine isn’t addictive?
How on earth is this actually easier than a normal lighter?
If you thought cell phone holsters were the dumbest looking things on earth, think again.
Vest-Pocket Ash Tray
And when you miss the ashtray you get to burn a nice hole in your vest, or get a pocket full of ashes.
Cigarette Holder for Nudists
You really don’t want to know where that guy kept his cigarettes before this was invented.
Cigarette Case Keeps Account of Smokes Given to Friends
I think that anyone cheap enough to need one of these would be too cheap to actually buy one.
Keeps Smoke Out Of Eyes
And blow it into somebody else’s eyes.
Trained Cockroach Smuggles Smokes
Ok, this one is just cool. Plus, if you’re stuck in solitary it’s actually pretty damn useful.
NEW CIGARETTE PUT UP IN WATERPROOF PAPER
This sounds like a pretty good idea but you really have to wonder what kind of god awful chemical they used to make it waterproof.
Safety Holder for Fag Smokers
And finally this ridiculously giant ashtray ring thing. It’s only redeeming quality is that if you squint hard enough you could swear this was a black and white snapshot from one of those Star Trek TNG episodes where Picard goes all gangster in the holodeck.