Are you in the know? (Mar, 1953)

Despite what this ad says I’ve found that girls do not react well when you ask if they’d like to “share a Slurp Special at the local fizz palace”.

And poor Egbert. Not only did his parents name him Egbert, he just got compared to a pad. Good old Eggie…

Are you in the know?

When a girl changes schools, what’s a good move?
_ Try stalking the stags _Pick yourself a pal

As “the new girl,” you’ll be noticed —but don’t expect a brass band greeting. (Your new classmates may be shy, too!) Why not ask one gal to share a Slurp Special at the local fizz palace? Bimebye, you’ll be buddies. Getting okayed by the ladies first — leads to meeting the boy-people. Same as the confidence you need, on certain days, begins with the comfort you get with Kotex. This napkin (so absorbent!) has softness that holds its shape. Made to stay soft for hours and hours!

Which “look” is best for lasses with glasses?
_ Uncluttered _ Dramatic _ Coquette

If you’ve got specs before your eyes, choose headgear becoming to your face type. Dodge severe or frilly-filly effects. Keep your brow uncluttered. A soft, simple hairdo plus a small or medium brimmed chapeau should suit you. For a smooth look on calendar days, let Kotex keep you outline- free. You’ll see — those flat pressed ends prevent revealing outlines!

What to do about the Spaniel Type?
_ Rush away screaming _ Linger and learn

Adoring Egbert —always underfoot! A good kid, but you don’t get his message: you’re too busy torching for frost-hearted Ted. Should you ditch Eggie? Better linger. You’ll learn how to charm other gents. And at trying times, learn about poise from Kotex and that safety center— (your extra protection). In all 3 absorbencies: Regular, Junior, Super.

More women choose KOTEX* than all other sanitary napkins P.S. Have you tried new Delsey* toilet tissue —now nicer than ever! Each tissue tears off evenly—no shredding. It’s luxuriously soft and absorbent — like Kleenex* tissues. And Delsey’s double-ply for extra strength.

6 comments
  1. Paul says: July 3, 20103:45 am

    Love the Fifties lingo. That top picture is straight out of Back to the Future.

  2. JMyint says: July 3, 20107:33 am

    So even back then Cosmopolitan knew most of its readers were insecure teenage girls.

  3. Rick Auricchio says: July 3, 20101:17 pm

    So Egbert has the hots for a nun?

  4. Firebrand38 says: July 3, 201011:06 pm

    Hirudinea: Cue applause I think I know why that standup career never took off.

  5. Arglebarglefarglegleep says: August 6, 20103:43 pm

    Well, slurp palace I haven’t heard but we used “burp & slurp” for fast food or “stop & rob” for convenience stores.

    And there’s the classic sign “EAT & GET GAS” used by what passed for gas station / convenience store / restaurants that existed before the federal highway system.

    What’s bad is this is the period that they brought out the “Edsel” car. So somebody named Egbert might be somebody you know.

  6. Cranky_Old_Man says: October 16, 20104:38 pm

    “Run away screaming”, Egbert is one of the first stalkers.

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