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Spray With Suede! (Jan, 1961)

It’s 9 years after the first ad, but Nels is still going strong, all because of the amazing powers of Flock-Kraft, AKA Micro Fluff, AKA Spray Suede. You’ll note he’s gone crazy, he’s flocking radios, christmas trees, toy piggy banks with top hats. I mean, can you believe it, a piggy bank wearing a top hat? And it’s flocked? That’s just insane. Plus he’s got a new spokesman, a “Mr J.F.K”; wink, wink, nod, nod. Yes, we all know the real reason J.F.K got so much play. Chicks dig flocking.

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Nels In the THIRD DIMENSION! (Jul, 1952)

Nels is back, and this time he’s in COLOR! Well, at least in black and red. But, more importantly, Nels has has figured out how to engineer a finish so remarkable that it actually enters the THIRD DIMENSION. That means you can actually see it from the side! And it’s just so darn flocky. And really, who doesn’t want to flock their toy elephant? I know I do! You can flock everything: your radio, car, food, toothbrush, children, hell if you buy the jumbo pack, you can even flock Nels Irwin himself! Now that’s a deal!

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MICRO-FLUFF (Jan, 1955)

Nels Irwin is my hero. Just look at that mountain of fluff he’s prepared to give you, FREE! Yes you heard me right, free. Now I know where I’ll be going for all my fluffing needs.

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LEARN MEAT CUTTING (Jun, 1964)

LEARN MEAT CUTTING

Train quickly in 8 short weeks at Toledo for a bright future with security in the vital meat business. Big pay, full time jobs – HAVE A PROFITABLE MARKET OF YOUR OWN! Pay after graduation. Diploma given. Job help. Thousands of successful graduates. Our 41st year! Send NOW for FREE catalog. No obligation. G.I. Approved.
NATIONAL SCHOOL OF MEATCUTTING, Dept. 51-G, Toledo 4, O.

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No skinny man has an ounce of SEX APPEAL (Mar, 1939)

“No skinny man has an ounce of SEX APPEAL”

“But science have proved that thousands don’t have to be SKINNY”

THOUSANDS OF THIN, TIRED, NERVOUS PEOPLE GAIN 10 TO 25 LBS… NEW STRENGTH QUICK
-with Ironized Yeast Tablets

Thousands of skinny, rundown people who never could gain before have quickly put on pounds of solid, naturally attractive flesh, with these remarkable scientifically tested little Ironized Yeast tablets. What’s more, instead of that terrible tired feeling and jittery nerves, they now have wonderful new strength and energy, eat well, sleep soundly and with improved looks and new pep have won new friends and popularity.

WHY THEY BUILD UP QUICK

You see, scientists have discovered that many people are underweight and rundown, often tired and nervous, simply because they don’t get enough Vitamin B and iron from their daily food. Without these vital elements you may lack appetite and not get the real body-building good out of what you eat.

Now you get these exact missing elements in these amazing little Ironized Yeast tablets. The improvement they bring in a short time to those who need Vitamin B and iron is often astonishing. Thousands report gains of 10 to 25 lbs., wonderful new pep – a new natural attractiveness that wins friends everywhere.

TRY THEM WITHOUT RISKING A CENT

Get Ironized Yeast tablets from your druggist today. If with the first package you don’t eat better and FEEL better, with much more strength and pep- if you’re not convinced that Ironized Yeast will give you the normally attractive flesh, new energy and life you have not longed for, the price of the first package promptly refunded.

Only be sure you get the genuine Ironized Yeast, and not one of the cheap, inferior substitutes often offered which do not give the same results. Look for the letters “IY” stamped on each tablet. You don’t want inferior substitutes.

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Scariest Recruitment Ad Ever (Jun, 1968)

Basically they are saying: “Choose the Army before the Army chooses you.”

This reminds me of mafia thugs demanding protection money and saying: “We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way.”


He just lost his chance to make a choice.

His induction notice caught him with his decisions down. He waited too long to choose Army.

If he had acted sooner, he would have had his pick of more than 300 jobs. And his choice would have been guaranteed in writing before he joined up.

So don’t wait. Choose your specialty and get the best training in the world. In an outfit you can be proud of. There’s no better way to become highly skilled. No better way to fulfill your military obligation.

Your future, your decision … choose ARMY.

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Columbia House 8-Track (Oct, 1968)

Yes, the Columbia House Music Club existed even in the days of 8-tracks.

As your introduction, choose
ANY 3 8-TRACK CARTRIDGES
FOR ONLY $5.95
if you join now, and agree to purchase as few as four additional cartridges during the coming year, from hundreds to be offered

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Raise Rabbits (Mar, 1937)

It’s Friday animals for profit blogging time:

RAISE RABBITS FOR US
We Pay You Up To $5.00 Each.

Also Put You in Touch with MARKETS EVERYWHERE. Large illustrated book and catalog, also copy of the AMERICAN RABBIT FARMER and monthly market bulletin showing names of buyers in various parts of America who continuously buy all rabbits offered them. All for 10 cents.
OUT DOOR ENTERPRISE CO., 113 Main St., New City, N.Y.

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THE LOOK YOU WANT – WHEN YOU WANT IT! (Nov, 1968)

My favorite part is the line “The combinations are limitless!”, actually there are only seven combinations, unless you count each side burn individually.

THE LOOK YOU WANT – WHEN YOU WANT IT!

You will be Amazed at the Exciting Change in your Personal Appearance!

The Natural Look of these sideburns, mustache, and van dyke actually allows you to select the way you want to look. Older, Younger, Distinguished, Cool, Suave – you name it! Wear each one independently or combine them for the effect you desire – sideburns and beard, sideburns alone, van dyke alone, van dyke and mustache. The combinations are limitless!

All items are made of simulated natural hair to exacting professional standards. Firmly self-adhering. Can be worn with self confidence anywhere, anytime. They are so life-like you will have to remind your self they can be removed. FREE with each order, a complete guide that tells how to naturally wear your sideburns, mustache and van dyke.

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Lonely Repair Man (May, 1968)

TOM McCAHILL SAYS:
“The appliance repair field is so uncrowded, it’s almost lonely!”

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