I’ll Make You a Master of CHINESE KUNG-FU (Feb, 1970)

I’ll Make You a Master of CHINESE KUNG-FU
…the Oriental ART of INSTANTANEOUS DEATH that is applied with NO Bodily Contact

the Chinese method of Attack and Self-Defense kept so secret that it has been handed down in China only from father to son because of its DEADLY power to disable or kill! Now these devastatingly brilliant secrets that require NO PHYSICAL STRENGTH OR EXERTION are revealed to you in the English language by a KUNG-FU Master who dares to teach you AT HIS RISK!


Behind the blindfold is the Hon. Master “Kung-Fu.” That’s not his real name, of course. If you were a Kung-Fu expert, you’d recognise his real name at once, if we were to reveal it. But we cannot, for his Chinese fellow Kung-Fu Masters would punish him severely for revealing the deadly maneuvers he has sworn to keep secret.

What IS Kung-FU?

KUNG-FU is the most DEADLY form of defense and attack ever devised! Even a Karate, Savate or Judo expert shudders at the thought of meeting a KUNG-FU master because he knows who the winner will be! With just a basic knowledge of KUNG-FU learned easily in the privacy of your home, this FAST, EASY, PICTURE WAY, you can beat hoodlums. OUTFIGHT TWO, THREE and even FOUR Karate or Judo experts. Professional Wrestlers or Boxers!

When CHINESE KUNG-FU arrives in your mail, you turn to page 87 and look at the easy-to-understand photo illustrations. INSTANTLY you see how easily you can turn your opponents attack into a CRIPPLING blow to his chest—a maneuver you can perform in just a few minutes of practice! A few pages later I show you how to escape a deadly strangle-hold quickly and easily by slamming your attacker into the ground!

Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones!

Containing more than. 150 step-by-step LIVE-ACTION and SLOW MOTION PHOTOS your personal KUNG-FU Master Instructor takes you by your hand and shows you in plain, clear and simple, easy to understand language how to use highly secret KUNG-FU to multiply your power a THOUSANDFOLD. You learn how to handle a small mob of attackers who are fully armed and even pinning you to the around so you can’t move. You pay nothing if you can’t disarm one hoodlum . . . send another flying through the air and slam a third into the ground— In in a split second of KUNG FU maneuver that will take your attackers by surprise!

Never Be Afraid Again!

Secretly written in the Orient the contents of this amazing “how-to” picture book was shipped to Hawaii, where it was printed under cover away from prying eyes, then sent to the U. S. for limited distribution to those who agree to apply KUNG-FU ONLY FOR SELF-DEFENSE! If you were fortunate enough to be able to go to China, Hong Kong or Hawaii to take this amazing course— and were willing to pay $500 or even $1,000 to your KUNG-FU Master—you would be refused, because KUNG-FU secrets are NEVER taught to strangers or outsiders! Because KUNG-FU is deadly beyond imagination (and since attack as well as defense is taught) only a small limited edition has been printed. Frankly we don’t want fust everybody to learn these secret maneuvers.

KUNG-FU will NOT be sold in any store, and is available ONLY by mail to serious students who must vow NEVER to use it as an aggresor—but only as self-defense to protect himself, his friends ana family. We don’t ever want a criminal or hoodlum to be able to buy it because of its deadly power.

Become a NEW MAN!

Our streets aren’t safe today. Crime increases daily. You no longer have to be helpless, ashamed or humiliated—and look pitiful in the eyes of your friends. Protect yourself, your family, your girl friend from hoodlums and wisecracking bullies. With KUNG-FU you can use the hidden power that lies within you to master every situation! You’ll laugh as you send bullies and criminals flying in terror, and you’ll walk the streets happy, calm and confident in your new power! And you’ll do all this without working up a sweat or even spoiling the crease in your trousers. That’s because brilliantly executed KUNG-FU requires NO bodily contact . . . virtually NO physical exertion . . . and almost NO application of your body or hands! And yet KUNG-FU can be deadly, crippling and disastrous to any unfortunate opponent who is foolish enough to threaten you with ANY other technique, such as punching, Savate, Judo, Wrestling, etc! Yes, with the confidence that KUNG-FU can give you, you can walk the streets with the knowledge that NOTHING can frighten you . . . that you can deal with ANY man, ANY weapon, ANY situation! Your friends and loved ones will be proud of you with your new power.

Nothing Else To Buy!

KUNG-FU is complete—there is NOTHING else to buy—ever! You don’t have to practice on dummies and you need no apparatus. Once you receive CHINESE KUNG-FU you can throw away all the other courses on Self-Defense you have ever bought—because NONE compares with KUNG-FU! KUNG-FU is effective whether you’re standing, sitting or even LYING DOWN ASLEEP and OFF GUARD! It was originally decided to offer the complete KUNG-FU instruction at $10.00—a TREMENDOUS bargain at that price. However, to make it available to good citizens who want to use these secret maneuvers for self-defense and to help combat the ever-increasing crime rate, we are making KUNG-FU available now at the amazingly low price of just $3.98. If you and your friends don’t say that KUNG-FU has made a NEW MAN out of you. every cent you have paid will be refunded without question! Don’t even bother returning the KUNG-FU book. Just tear off the front cover and mail back to us for a full, no questions asked refund. We’ll take your word for it. MAIL COUPON NOW! AIR MAIL reaches us overnight.

Dept 1688 234 FIFTH AVE. NEW YORK. N.Y. 10001

_ OK, Honoroble Master Kung-Fu! I accept your daring No-Risk fret-trial offer to reveal the secrets of KUNG-FU! Ship in plain wrapper at once. I enclose $3.98 as payment in full. I understand that there is nothing cite to buy ever again. My friends and I must be delighted with my new KUNG-FU power and self-confidence— or my money will be refunded promptly in full— I just return the front cover of the book.

_ I agree never to use KUNG-FU as on aggressor—only to defend myself, and that I will never abuse the principles of KUNG-FU, nor wilt I ever reveal the secrets of KUNG FU to anyone else.

  1. Myles says: November 24, 20109:44 am

    From Order form –
    My friends and I must be delighted with my new KUNG-FU power
    I agree … nor wilt I ever reveal the secrets of KUNG FU to anyone else.

  2. Firebrand38 says: November 24, 201010:24 am

    The real secret is why a Master of “Chinese” Kung-Fu is wearing a Japanese karate gi.

  3. Jari says: November 24, 201011:00 am

    He seems to be a bit round at the midsection…. I think, I’ll try Llap Goch instead. http://www.ppsa.com/gif…

  4. DouglasUrantia says: November 24, 20107:11 pm

    ” …You pay nothing if you can’t disarm one hoodlum.”

    Let me find some hoodlums around town and see if this works….;-) I’ll get back to you later.

  5. Firebrand38 says: November 24, 20107:39 pm

    Jari: What? You never heard of Sammo Hung? http://www.youtube.com/…

  6. Rick Auricchio says: November 24, 20108:20 pm

    “…INSTANTANEOUS DEATH that is applied with NO Bodily Contact”

    Sounds like you just shoot the person…no contact needed.

  7. Stephen Edwards says: November 25, 20106:04 am

    I wonder if every copy of the magazine also had “reservation certificate number 7063.”

    Oh, and now we know where Bruce Lee learned everything he knew.

  8. Stephen says: November 25, 20106:30 am

    This advertisement was parodied in detail by the Monty Python team in one of their books: “I’ll make you a MASTER of LLAP-Goch … the Secret Welsh ART of SELF DEFENCE that requires NO INTELLIGENCE, STRENGTH or PHYSICAL courage.” I’ve linked to a page that gives the text.

  9. Stephen says: November 25, 20106:32 am

    Apologies to Jari who already made that joke ^^ 🙁

  10. Christoph says: November 25, 20107:16 am

    This advertisement is a veritable dictionary of adjectives.

  11. Don says: November 25, 20109:20 am

    INSTANTANEOUS DEATH . . . with NO Bodily Contact . . . yeah, right.

    I think maybe that’s the technique Indy Jones used:


  12. Jari says: November 25, 201010:39 am

    FB38: Now that you reminded me. Martial Law was aired here a few years ago. Sammo has a large frame, but Master Kung-fu has only large belly.

    Stephen: No prob, something like that has happened also to me.

  13. Neil Russell says: November 25, 20103:53 pm

    Practitioners of Ecky Thump would scoff at this sort of nonense.


  14. Neil Russell says: November 25, 20103:56 pm

    Or nonsense even

  15. Jari says: November 25, 20104:55 pm

    Neil: Oh the memories… 🙂 thanks for the flashbacks of The Goodies. Not to mention, that the clip was from the infamous “Laughing To Death” episode.

  16. Jake says: November 30, 20108:08 am

    I can’t imagine this one flying in today’s world, but it sure is a good looking ad.

  17. GaryM says: November 30, 201010:58 am

    “for his Chinese fellow Kung-Fu Masters would punish him…”

    for defaming legitimate Kung Fu for the sake of a scam.

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